Caught Kill Bill part 1 before I headed up north.

The short version?

Sweet. Hella fucking sweet.

First off, let me state that it chaps my ass to high heaven when the current god’s gift to movies director wants me to believe that their latest magical blockbuster opus is sooo good that it can’t be properly edited to approach standard viewing lengths.

Reality check: Shakespeare you boys ain’t.

Obviously there are exceptional cases where I don’t mind the splits - Lord of the Rings, Star Wars (the REAL trilogy), Godfather, et al. The jury is still out on Matrix. Who the fuck plans THAT un-cliffhanger? The fucking trailer has a better arc than Reloaded.

Anywho, back to Kill Bill. This movie, while only a duo, will work as separate entities. Why? Tarantino used a storytelling format that effectively contained the action into “chapters” so when you arrive at the “end” 2 hours in you’re not left feeling like someone just slammed your balls in a car door for 10 minutes. Top it off with the fact that there was a legitimate cliffhanger at the very, VERY end that was properly prefaced at the beginning of the movie and you have a winner.

As with all Tarantino flics this one is laced with profanity and a bit o’ the ultraviolence. I place it somewhere between Clerks and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back on the shitty-shitty-fuck-fuck-o-meter. Tarantino makes effective use of anime for the entirety of one chapter, which is the origin of Lucy Lui’s character. Without spoiling it I will say that this is the only way to tell this particular chapter that both fits with the power of the movie without compromising the content of the scene. That and it’s always good when the plebs are shown real anime that defies the common perception that it’s all school girl uniforms and tentacle rape…wait, what was she wearing again?

Now to fast-forward in time to the release of volume 2…

edit: Be careful what you wish for, I guess.

Ubi/Redstorm announced early today that the long-anticipated (since release) patch for Raven Shield is now available… on FilePlanet.

Let’s just say that the meeting of these two disparate events at the same point in space time fills me with teh rage

The bulk of this post will be the patch and it’s shortcomings, but I’ll use this space to bitch briefly about the patch-distribution schema (or lack thereof)

Here’s the quick-n-dirty for ya Ubi - If you release a game YOU MUST HOST THE PATCHES. Period. Full Stop. Etcetera. If you want to also supply them to FilePlanet as an official mirror go nuts but don’t force people who pay your fucking salary to wait in some grab ass queue because you’re too cheap to buy an extra 3mb of bandwidth.

Continue for the full-on bitch fest.

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PETA’s Latest Idea

I like animals, I really do. I support the ideal that all animals should be treated well, even those destined for the slaughterhouse and that wasting meat (ie killing for fur) is somewhere deep in the realm of nonsensical idiocy.

That said I think PETA is the biggest set of fucktards in the western (or any other) hemisphere.

FYI - Comparing the Holocaust to eating chicken IS NOT FUCKING ACCEPTABLE! Forget good taste, this sort of advertising is borderline actionable. I hope beyond hope that the Jewish Anti-Defamation League barbecues PETA for this.

Yes, this is America, you can say whatever you like in most cases and get away with it and yes, political speech is what those laws were expressly written to safeguard, But guess what? Sometimes you shouldn’t. All this “ad” has done is help to convince people that PETA is an organization full of zealots with no conscience beyond “fur is, like, murder, ya know?”

Fuck you PETA. Fuck you in your goat ass.

You are fucking clown shoes.

Despite feeling like absolute shit today (and calling in sick) I did manage to go see Daredevil, read on true believers.

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