I watched Ebert & Roper’s review of part 2 of Tarantino’s latest creation with great hope. Both loved the movie, going so far as to say that after seeing volume 2 they liked volume 1 even more.

Well 1 out of 2 ain’t bad, I guess.

The film opened with a blissfully short recap of the events in volume one. While I am normally against such moron-heavy devices in movies I accept the need for them and just let it pass. Looking back at the entire experience now I wish that recap had lasted longer. Much, much longer. Going back over the celluloidic gold that was KBv1 was the best part of the “sequel”.

Volume 2 lacked the style that made V1 an instant classic. Gone are the scenes of ultra-violence so extreme that they evolve into caricatures of themselves. They were replaced by droning dialog that dragged the viewer along and added nothing to the overall story. What little combat there was seemed abbreviated and lacked the raw emotion that made first movies scenes even more potent.

The best/worst example of this absurd abbreviation is the plot points and scenes related to Pai Mai, the Kung-Fu master who trained Uma Thurman’s character. Throughout the movie, and I believe even at brief times in the last one, Pai Mai’s teachings are referenced along with a bond shared between master and student. One would think that the perfect opportunity to expose this bond would be during the chapter titled “The Cruel Tutelage of Pai Mai”. One would be wrong. The all too short scenes with the master serve only show how Uma would escape the coffin Budd had buried her in. That’s the kind of slack-jawed plotting I expect from a Karate Kid movie, not a Tarantino joint.

This review isn’t going to get any better so I?m just going to stop right here and call it an afternoon.

Kill Bill v1 was a hurricane, a tsunami, a deluge of such power that were you to be swept under by it your family would die. Volume 2? No so much.

Someday I hope Quentin revisits this project with a critical eye and re-cuts the entire thing into the singular movie experience it was meant to be. A five hour flic is a small price to pay when creating a masterpiece.

Caught Kill Bill part 1 before I headed up north.

The short version?

Sweet. Hella fucking sweet.

First off, let me state that it chaps my ass to high heaven when the current god’s gift to movies director wants me to believe that their latest magical blockbuster opus is sooo good that it can’t be properly edited to approach standard viewing lengths.

Reality check: Shakespeare you boys ain’t.

Obviously there are exceptional cases where I don’t mind the splits - Lord of the Rings, Star Wars (the REAL trilogy), Godfather, et al. The jury is still out on Matrix. Who the fuck plans THAT un-cliffhanger? The fucking trailer has a better arc than Reloaded.

Anywho, back to Kill Bill. This movie, while only a duo, will work as separate entities. Why? Tarantino used a storytelling format that effectively contained the action into “chapters” so when you arrive at the “end” 2 hours in you’re not left feeling like someone just slammed your balls in a car door for 10 minutes. Top it off with the fact that there was a legitimate cliffhanger at the very, VERY end that was properly prefaced at the beginning of the movie and you have a winner.

As with all Tarantino flics this one is laced with profanity and a bit o’ the ultraviolence. I place it somewhere between Clerks and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back on the shitty-shitty-fuck-fuck-o-meter. Tarantino makes effective use of anime for the entirety of one chapter, which is the origin of Lucy Lui’s character. Without spoiling it I will say that this is the only way to tell this particular chapter that both fits with the power of the movie without compromising the content of the scene. That and it’s always good when the plebs are shown real anime that defies the common perception that it’s all school girl uniforms and tentacle rape…wait, what was she wearing again?

Now to fast-forward in time to the release of volume 2…

edit: Be careful what you wish for, I guess.